Addiction to Authenticity...
Have you ever found yourself in a situation in which there seems to be only one solution to a problem? Is there a habit that you wish to change, one that you have been attempting to change for years perhaps, that you simply aren't able to alter on your own?
Habits can be hard to break and creating new habits can take time, especially if our old habits are fear or anxiety based. New evidence in Cognitive Behavior Therapy shows that it is possible to create new reactions and behaviors in our relationships with others even when old reactions and behaviors are strongly imbedded in our brain chemistry.
A tool used to do this is called ERP (exposure and response prevention) and very simply this involves noticing what the old thought or behavior is and ignoring it. By not doing the behavior we begin to develop a new wiring for "not doing the behavior." When we "ignore" that old wiring by not using it, the wiring begins to "disconnect" from lack of use. A new wiring system in the brain begins to develop. More options for thinking and behaving are created and new habits developed.
In my cosex addiction, what keeps the addition in place is doing the same things over and over again even when I am looking for new results. In my commitment to create authenticity in my partnership and in all my relationships, including my relationship with myself, I consciously choose to "notice" my thoughts and the "habits" of reacting but also then choose to delay the behavior. Personally, I've learned to breathe into my discomfort and let the old wiring disconnect. In doing so, other authentic ways of being open up to me. I've learned that the "automatic" behaviors are about protection and learned defenses. Risking feeling uncomfortable by doing something different and then consciously choosing a new behavior with my partner always creates surprising and often pleasurable results.
Follow this link to learn more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy.
Blessings on your journey to creating authentic relationships in your life!
Sally
www.cosexaddiction.com
www.blessingsfrommary.com
Habits can be hard to break and creating new habits can take time, especially if our old habits are fear or anxiety based. New evidence in Cognitive Behavior Therapy shows that it is possible to create new reactions and behaviors in our relationships with others even when old reactions and behaviors are strongly imbedded in our brain chemistry.
A tool used to do this is called ERP (exposure and response prevention) and very simply this involves noticing what the old thought or behavior is and ignoring it. By not doing the behavior we begin to develop a new wiring for "not doing the behavior." When we "ignore" that old wiring by not using it, the wiring begins to "disconnect" from lack of use. A new wiring system in the brain begins to develop. More options for thinking and behaving are created and new habits developed.
In my cosex addiction, what keeps the addition in place is doing the same things over and over again even when I am looking for new results. In my commitment to create authenticity in my partnership and in all my relationships, including my relationship with myself, I consciously choose to "notice" my thoughts and the "habits" of reacting but also then choose to delay the behavior. Personally, I've learned to breathe into my discomfort and let the old wiring disconnect. In doing so, other authentic ways of being open up to me. I've learned that the "automatic" behaviors are about protection and learned defenses. Risking feeling uncomfortable by doing something different and then consciously choosing a new behavior with my partner always creates surprising and often pleasurable results.
Follow this link to learn more about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy.
Blessings on your journey to creating authentic relationships in your life!
Sally
www.cosexaddiction.com
www.blessingsfrommary.com
Labels: 12 step recovery, 12 step spirituality, addiction, addictive relationships, authentic relationships, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, cosex addiction, relationships, sex addiction
posted by Sally at
1:49 PM
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