As a recovering woman, I have chosen to come face to face with shame. It was initially a very uncomfortable experience. To come face to face with shame, means to embrace it and walk toward it rather than to avoid the experience of it. To do this means that I have chosen to become aware of the messages and feelings of shame. Here are some of what I have learned about my shame:

1) I believe I am a mistake not that I make mistakes.

2) I emotionally beat myself up and have no compassion.

3) I have the sense of being exposed, discovered and completely unworthy.

4) My thoughts begin with words like: I can't, I shouldn't, I'm bad, Who do I think I am, etc.,

5) I sometimes turn red and have a deep desire to hide and isolate.

6) I often hurt myself because I believe that I deserve this. I may overeat, overspend or pick a fight with someone I love.

It's no wonder I avoided coming face to face with shame for so long.

I've learned also about "carried shame." (See Relationships from Addiction to Authenticity for more information.)

Here are some of the gifts when I choose to face my shame:

1) I realize I am just as good as and no better than all other human beings.

2) I experience the gift of humility.

3) I am able to connect more to others and create authentic relationships.

4) I laugh more and worry less about being hyper-vigilant with my behavior.

5) I learn self-love, self-forgiveness and self-compassion on a deep level.

6) I am able to risk sharing my gifts with others.

7) I develop a relationship with a Higher Power that inspires and sustains me.

8) I am able to experience the miracles of my life, especially as I have chosen to embrace my shame.

9) I accept that I am imperfect with shadows and character defects and love it all.

Yours in joy, shame and more joy,

Sally