The 12 steps continue to teach and mentor me through my spiritual life. Every problem that I encountered can be bettered through the use of one of these 12 steps. At times I own my powerlessness and see attachments to my own self-will and ego wounds. Other times, I am able to connect with a Higher Power and turn a situation or difficulty over to a divine perspective. There are other times as well where I take action and review my part in an upset or challenging situation. When appropriate I make amends to someone else, myself or simply, yet powerfully, change my own behavior for a living amends. Here are some guidelines for Continuing to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitting it:

1) Keep your prayer and meditation practice alive and well. This will keep my connection with the Divine vibrant and the path for insight open. I will see more clearly my own behavior and be able to think before I speak and react in any given situation; minimizing the need to make amends for my behavior.

2) Often our amends are to ourselves for a lack of boundaries, self-care or not trusting our intuition. Then we are hurt or blindsided by someone else's bad behavior. We can learn these lessons quickly by going within and developing those internal and external boundaries. We deserve to care well for ourselves.

3) An amends to those we are closest to in our lives can simply be a form of apology for how our behavior may have hurt them. There doesn't have to be a long and drawn out explanation, nor do we always need to fully understand the intricacies of all our internal motivations manifested in our relationship behavior with others. A simple apology for our behavior does the trick.

4) Forgiving ourselves and adjusting our behavior to include better self-care makes a difference in our lives. We are on a journey in life, learning to live with values aligned to recovery and new way of living. Our journey of self-love and high functioning teaches us to adjust when necessary and continually grow in wisdom and maturity, forgiving our own transgressions along the way.

One of the greatest gifts of my 12 step recovery journey is seeing myself welcome mature individuals with a great capacity to connect and grow with me. I no longer have to take responsibility for others' bad behavior and know that I deserve the same care and love from others that I give freely. Attracting healthful, kind and responsible behavior from others is one of the greatest gifts of recovery.

Blessings on your journey, Sally