My daughter has headed off to college. We drove across country together and now I am with her during her orientation. I am so privileged to share this time with her and enjoy this mother/daughter time together. There is joy, fear, excitement and grief. It's a natural transition in life; to let our children go and support a new level of independence and exploration into the wide, wide world.

I wonder if I have given her enough guidance, taught her enough life skills for day to day functioning and how I will ever survive my aching heart with her across the country and so far away.

My mother and I did not speak about my going off to college. Instead, I noticed she got physically ill the last few months of my senior year in high school and over the summer before my first college semester. It was a momentous event but there was no conscious transitioning or anticipatory communications of what was to come. Personally, I wasn't feeling much as I had already learned to shut down emotionally and survive through focusing on others and pushing through what needed to be done.

Twelve step recovery, family of origin work and personal growth healing allows us all to "do things differently" and for this I am deeply and profoundly grateful. My daughter and I speak about our fears as well as our joys and the exciting possibilities that await her. We've had some upsets that we've talked through and realized are really about my fear of letting her go. I can feel and talk about this all honestly with her. While we both consciously witness this transition, she is given permission to transition in life consciously. Recovery gives us our senses which allow us to be fully present to all that we are experiencing. We have choices, support groups to share with, self-awareness to guide us and a spiritual connection to comfort us.

What an immense gift I am able to give myself and my daughter as I allow myself the authentic experience of this profound transition. We can navigate it emotionally together and find our way with our full self expression and learn to "do it differently" and embrace the experience fully.

With deepest appreciation,

Sally