I'm reading two books right now. One is entitled, "Well-Behaved Women Seldom Make History" and the other is, "Why Women Should Rule the World." It's great fun and both books have historical and well-researched information about gender differences and the oppression of women.

While I am grateful for these non-fiction works, I do feel sad and angry as I read the books. I also feel comforted as I am able to experience being part of a larger tribe, which affirms my knowing deep within that women's oppression exists. My husband is an amazing man: mature and wise, and still there are subtle ways that he speaks or behaves which communicate to me that he doesn't recognize what I recognize around this issue. He doesn't have the same sensitivity in his speaking and how much eye contact there is when men and women are together. In a mixed gender group, he does not notice as readily as I do how much more time we all spend listening to the men speaking than to the women. It's sobering to me as I know he is highly sensitive to these issues. There is a level of awareness that he lacks simply because he is not a woman in our patriarchal culture.

What does this all have to do with cosex addiction? For me, it is a reminder that while my recovery is very personal and I am responsible for my own fit spiritual condition, all of this occurs within a context. The context is our culture and societal wounds. I must remain mindful of this in order to stay in reality about the challenges of finding my power as a recovering cosex addict. I must seek additional support from other women.

I think it is also important to know that we as women carry this internalized oppression and will, albeit unconsciously, act it out with one another. There have been more than a few occasions when I've known women to gossip about me or other women. I've often felt a lack of support for my accomplishments and achievements from other women as well. We are conditioned to see one another as competition. Additionally, we unknowingly take our internalized self-hatred of ourselves as women and project it onto each other. These "shadows" within ourselves are so important to acknowledge. In our awareness, we can begin to transform this internalized oppressive messages of the feminine and confront the dynamic in our society.

Here are some simple tips for honoring the feminine internally and culturally:

1. Become aware of the internalized oppressive messages that you carry. One cannot grow up in our culture without experiencing this and a courageous acknowledgment of these messages is the first step in changing them.

2. Seek support from other women and allow yourself to be witnessed in your pain and anger about the oppression of women and the sexist in our culture.

3. Acknowledge another woman's accomplishments. Even though we are conditioned to feel competitive and jealous of other women, the more we contradict this message and celebrate each other's achievements, the more we can overcome together.

Honesty, communication and a celebration of women with women is the key.

Blessings on your journey,

Sally