I recently visited my home town, where I was born and grew up. It is a lovely geography and there are many memories of my growing up which include connection, family celebrations and the tightly knitted threads of my heritage. There are many blessings in these community connections, but all the memories are not filled with joy and peace. These memories have their place and purpose as well.

When we intervene on our own additive behaviors and dynamics in relationship with others, our awareness of our lives deepens. We live more consciously. We are emotionally and physically more present in our own bodies and spirits since we are not using substances or other compulsive behaviors to disassociate or mood alter. Learning to hold all of our memories and develop the capacity for honesty about our heritage is essential if we are to mature spiritually and emotionally.

During Holiday times or when visiting our families, it is easy to fall into old patterns of dysfunction and survival that we learned growing up. Being able to bring our recovery and new patterns of behavior into our family of origin relationships and holiday gatherings takes time. As we stay determined in our own maturing, we will emerge victorious and we are able to stay grounded in our own values. Here are some tips for honoring our recovery and our ancestry during significant times:

1) Be gentle with yourself. We will make mistakes and learn to be more integrated in our behaviors over time; especially with family members.

2) Reach out to those who support our recovery and self-awareness. Going to family members who are not on the same path with us can trigger the old loneliness and hopelessness. When there are emotional challenging with family members, reach out to support circles that know your history and can support you in your recovery behaviors and values today.

3) Spend time in prayer and meditation during the Holidays and when visiting family. It seems that our time is most precious with so many other things to do, but it is the most important time to do these simple acts of spiritual connection.

Over time, honoring the gifts of our ancestry while at the same time being in reality about the wounds of our growing up will bring emotional and spiritual maturity. As we live our own values and spiritual connection consistently over time, we will be able to integrate who we choose to be today with where we have come from; fully embracing the gifts of our ancestry.

Blessings on your journey,

Sally