Humility comes from the Latin root "humilis" which means "from the earth." To me, this means being "grounded" with our feet planted. It is a way of being in reality and keeping oneself in the truth of a situation, whatever that might mean.

Years ago during some spiritual counseling that I received, I described myself as "not being very humble." The woman counseling me was able to read between the lines given the details that I had given her about a relationship I had been talking about with her. She told me that humility did not mean being a doormat. It actually meant standing in the truth of a situation. Sometimes this meant that I might be at fault in a situation and other times it meant that I was not at fault. Her definition added a component of maturity and simplicity to my own thinking about humility and today I have a better sense of what humility means in practical terms for myself and for my relationships with others.

I want to live from a place of humility on a day to day basis and I continue to learn what this means. Some situations seem easier to see from a place of humility than others.

Having had a spiritual awakening in the 12 step program that I have worked consistently for over 20 years, I find that my intuition is highly developed. I do not use addictive substances or behaviors to medicate and distract me from my emotional sobriety and intelligence. I am fully present in my own body, heart and mind. I see, hear and sense with a highly sensitive vibrancy. With this "knowing" and "sensing" I am often overwhelmed with my own energetic vibrations and what I "pick up" on a daily basis.

I also find this high sensitivity is welcomed by many and threatening to others. This clarity of vibration, thought, seeing and sensing mirrors to others who they are and often who they are not. This can be seen as threatening when one is lacking in emotional maturity and sobriety or with one who has not yet accepted responsibility for their own reactivity and triggers. Often, I am blamed, albeit unconsciously, for something that someone sees of themselves when they look into my eyes or the mirror of our relationship.

In humility, I want to learn how to see these dynamics clearly and with compassion. Often I find myself defensive with people's projections and I attempt to control their anger or reactivity. It is an ongoing prayer and intention that I trust what I am able to see, be open to a new perspective and not to engage energetically with someone else's woundedness, blame, criticism and projections. I want to "stand with my feet on the earth" and humbly see what I see with detachment and compassion, rather than engaging my own defensiveness with others. My desire is to see people's hurt and pain with care and understanding, rather than call forth my own protective behaviors.

In Co-Sex addiction, as with any addictive behavior, we must seek the intervention of a power greater than ourselves. We must be willing to see ourselves with our automatic behaviors and defensive patterns and ask for help, knowing that on our own, we are not able to change or alter the reactivity. In seeing what I see, knowing what I know, sensing what I sense in others, I become a mirror for them. I must be willing to be with this gift humbly, without allowing my own fear or reactions to their projections to interfere. If they are not willing to see their own wounds and defensive postures honestly, then I can hold them with compassion and neutrality and not feed the dynamic with defensive energy. They also mirror to me my own reactivity and defensiveness. Today I choose to see these reflections of myself as an opportunity to practice humility, detachment, compassion and neutrality.

Being grounded and with my feet firmly planted, I can source the power of Mother Earth and other Spiritual Resources. In this way, I allow myself to be centered in service and care for the highest good of all involved.

My co-sex addiction and all the hurts, wounds and defensive patterns that go along with it can actually become connection with humility. In my dis-ease, I remember my want and need for Spiritual Connection and a Power Greater than myself. I can choose for the highest good of all involved and surrender my own self-will in any given situation or relationship. My dis-ease and addictive behaviors as are a place of humility and spiritual connection in which transformation and healing come only through my choice to surrender and the grace of spiritual intervention.

Humility means knowing who I am in all my glory. I believe it also means knowing who I am in all my woundedness and seeking spiritual intervention when needed.

In service,

Sally