I grew up hearing that "it was better to give than to receive." This was a value from my family of origin. We were a close knit Italian family and we were generous. If you came to our home, at any time of the day or night, you were fed. There were always pizzelles and biscotti freshly baked for coffee or a shot of brandy if that was your preference. We were generous and what we had we shared, even if what we had was not much.

   Being Italian and Catholic, there was also a strong value of justice in my family. We always gave to the poor, knowing that charity was an important act of faith. I grew up with my family giving to charity, volunteering with the elderly and even as a young high schooler, there were young children from the neighborhood that I spent time with on Saturdays and tutored during the week. All of this is good and I am grateful for these experiences. 

   Today, as an adult woman, I know that while "giving" to others is part of my calling, of being of service, I also know that I can not "give" what I do not allow myself to "receive." I've found that in the last few years, my prayer and meditation practice has led me more and more to the rather bold and less socially acceptable belief that "receiving" is my Spiritual Calling of the time, especially as a woman. This contradicts a very deeply embedded belief in our patriarchal culture that covertly  and overtly conditions and expects women to give and focus on others.  

   As women, we are conditioned to give - give -give and then give more. We often develop a self esteem and sense of control by our volunteering or being needed by others. It becomes an automatic way to actually avoid dealing with our own low self-esteem and beliefs that we are not good enough. We hide behind our unconditional giving and never venture out into the courageous realm of receiving. We do not learn authentic giving by first learning the depth of our own value. One who does not allow themselves to receive does not really learn how to give from fullness within. Giving becomes an automatic behavior and can actually be a way to hide and avoid dealing with our own low self esteem. We must learn and practice authentic receiving in order to truly give from our fullness and authentic desire to gift another. 

   There is great vulnerability and trust in opening ourselves to receive. I think it takes more courage to receive than to give mostly because we are not in control when receiving. It also requires us to have enough esteem of self that we are able to allow ourselves to be gifted, given to and blessed by another. There is much more called for from within our spirits and soul when receiving is asked of us, rather than giving. I think often others hide themselves in giving rather than the vulnerable and courageous act of allowing themselves to receive. 

   This is yet, another, paradox of recovery, especially co-sex addiction recovery. While we must heal from our self-centeredness and self-obsession when we first enter our healing journey of recovery, as years go on, I believe we are called to maturity through receiving. We begin to reap the benefits of our recovery and our spiritual program and Higher Power wants to bless us more and more. This blessing becomes what we offer and give to others. We learn to love ourselves with great depth and forgive ourselves for our imperfections. In receiving Divine blessing and understanding for all of these things, our maturity deepens and we are able to give these blessings in return to others. 

   While for some it might be better to give than to receive, I believe our Spiritual maturity will eventually call us to welcome deeper and more profound gifts and blessings for ourselves. This spiritual calling to receive requires the healing of any old messages of not deserving and begin to believe in our own treasured and beloved value. Giving from this place of knowing our own cherished value deep within ourselves will truly bless others.

   Today I remind you to allow yourself to receive, to be blessed and showered with gifts from your Spiritual Source and from those that love and care about you. From this deep self of fulfillment within, your giving will be even more precious.

   Blessings to you on this journey of learning to receive and receive abundantly, 

   Sally