We are conditioned in our culture that selfishness is bad. From an early age,we learn that sharing is good. And while I think this can be true, I also believe in other contexts, these beliefs do not serve us, nor do they serve others.

In the wisdom of the 12 steps, we learn about looking within, seeing our part, owning our behaviors and keeping integrity in all our relationships, including our relationship with self. I've also come to believe that only when we put our relationship with ourselves first in our lives,can we truly give to others. In attending to our own needs and wants first, we are filled up from within. From this fullness within, we are able to give to others out of choice, not obligation. This is authentic giving.

Here are some tips for honoring healthy selfishness:

1) Make spiritual, physical, financial and emotional self care your first priority. The question first and foremost when making decisions is, How can I best take a stand for myself in this situation? What is the best way to care for myself here?From this place of self care, there will be an abundance of energy within from which to give others.

2) Joyful fulfillment begets joyful fulfillment. As we follow the joys and passions that are calling us from within, fulfillment of life follows. From this place, we are able to give to others and encourage them to follow this joyful passion from within. As we all do this, an abundance of joy and generosity will develop around us. We become able to give to others from a place of fulness within.

3) When we are tired, resentful, agitated or unhappy in our own lives, how can we really be of service to others. Filling ourselves up with what brings us balance, spiritual connection and inspiration means we have this to offer and share with others.

There is great generosity that comes from selfishness.When we are bold and courageous enough to receive all that there is to receive from within and without that brings us joy and passion, we have this to offer and freely give to others. It is with great fulfillment and ecstasy that we choose to be of service to others.

Another paradox of this spiritual journey; the generosity of selfishness.

Lovingly,

Sally