One of the things that I didn't understand when I first got into recovery was that my pain would ultimately lead me to more joy. When I authentically embrace my pain and hurts and release them in safe, supportive environments, I create the space to receive more joy, fulfillment and connection. When I avoid or shut down my emotional self to avoid pain I also shut down my emotional self and lose the ability to embrace joy, inspiration and the miracles of being fully present and alive.

In "Relationships From Addiction to Authenticity" many brave women tell their stories of betrayal, shock and addiction and how these experiences were transformed into authentic connection to self, Spirit and others. This transformation comes through our emotional honesty and acknowledgement of our hurt and pain. It is not a journey for the weak of heart but one for the strong of spirit; committed to creating a life full of possibility and dreams fulfilled. Courage is required to bear our souls, open our hearts and allow the vulnerability of our pain to be held in the loving care of others. This is our path to trust as well. We learn to trust ourselves, a Higher Power and we choose trustworthy people. 

In Chapter 5 Trusting and Embracing Feelings in the book,  "Relationships From Addiction to Authenticity", there are stories shared and discussions about how to feel our emotions and stop mood-altering behaviors to avoid feeling.Once we develop this emotional intelligence and make new choices, our senses are opened and our intuition increased. We are able to let our feelings inform us and our intuition guide us but not run us. We have choice and conscious awareness.

Joy is the outcome of honesty, full self-expression and the release of denial. One must experience both pain and joy in order to live a full and deeply rich life. 

Many blessings on your journey, 

Sally

I want to know the "right thing" to do in my life. This includes what to say in my relationships with others, what courses to take and trainings to do, what will increase my joy and financial income, should I go to Colorado for vacation or visit family in Michigan?

When we come from a dysfunctional or addictive family system, including the avoidance of dealing directly with trauma, we shut down to survive and in the process lose access to ourselves. When I shut down my fear, I shut down my joy. When I shut down my sensitivity, I lose awareness and creativity as well. I become afraid to live fully.

Embracing all of who we are and the pain that we carry, allows us to embrace deep joy. When we honor our pain and trauma, we open to the possibility of healing and maturing through it all. If we deny ourselves our own history, trauma and pain, we live "tightly." We become afraid to make the wrong decision and focus our energy on how to survive with the least amount of scraps and bruises. We become afraid to fully live and risk "wrong" decisions.

Life, when lived with an open and humble heart, is full of risk, pain, joy and wrong turns. On the road to the many wrong turns we make, we find adventure, beauty and learn new ways to go, new ways to be.

Today I know that I will make "wrong" turns and mistakes along the way. I have the tools of amends, seeing my part, asking for help and learning from these mistakes to enhance the journey. I am grateful for the 12 steps that guide me and my own emotional maturity that teaches me self-forgiveness and the courage to live life fully.

As our recovery progresses, we learn so much about ourselves and how to live more authentically. In our dis-ease, we keep secrets, do our best to survive, work harder and rely upon ourselves. Trusting others does not come easily; at least this has been my own personal experience.

In recovery and in our emotional and spiritual maturity, we learn to reclaim behaviors that nurture us and create a sense of connectedness with our community. We reach out for help when we need it, we allow others to give to us out of their authentic desire to contribute and we begin to rely on a Power greater than ourselves to orchestrate and oversee our journey in life.

Here are some ways to practice new behaviors that nourish us, allow us to receive from others and our Spiritual Source, thus enabling us to be filled from within:

1) Practice a daily prayer and meditation time in which you allow yourself to receive Divine energy and blessing. This may simply be sitting quietly and breathing deeply while imagining the Loving energy of our Higher Power, Spirit Guides and Divine Source surrounding us and bestowing blessings upon us. Even five minutes each day will reap great results.

2) Ask for help. This has been challenging for me and risky for most of us. One of the ways that I learned to get through difficult times was "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and work even harder. Trusting others set me up for disappointment. I was often supportive and available to others but did not reach out on my own behalf when in a challenging situation internally or externally. Today I ask for help and use my support system on a regular basis. Even leaving a message for someone asking for support shifts the energy inside of me. I have a sense of connection with others and with a Higher Power.

3) Receive. I give of myself to others in many different ways. Today, more than any other time in my life, my availability to others is a choice. I give from my own fullness within rather than an automatic behavior that focuses on others or avoids what is going on inside of myself by care-taking. I allow myself to receive with humility and gratitude and find that in doing so, the givers are blessed as well.

Authentic generosity reaps a sense of abundance. Giving from a place of fullness multiplies my energy and creates more space to receive.

Blessings to you as you learn to risk reaching out to others and allow yourself to receive.

Love, Sally