All religions and spiritual practices, including the 12-step program invite us to share what we have learned with others. We are encouraged to give to those less fortunate and to share our treasure with others. This is important. It keeps the cycle of life vibrant and reminds us of our connection to one another. For me, it can also be a little tricky because I have a tendency to think of others first. While I would like to claim this as generosity of spirit and heart, it is really a default position that I must develop consciousness and awareness around. It is not coming from an empowered position, it is an automatic survival behavior for me and often a way to avoid looking at myself.

I also suspect, that especially for women, this is difficult to detect and own as an automatic, and sometimes manipulative behavior. We have learned in our culture that giving to others and putting them first has earned us a certain status and approval. Women gets lots of kudos for care-giving, volunteering and charitable contributions. To intervene on this behavior and take responsibility for the part of us that gave to others to try and fill our own emptiness, takes great courage and a willingness to mature in ways that feel uncomfortable and quite lonely at times. We must be courageous enough to look beyond the surface expression of our own behaviors and see the deeper meaning of our actions.

I believe that carrying the message to others is most potent when I am willing to live an authentic life, not just talk about it. More than anything, this means being willing to see below the surface of my own judgments, blaming and motivations. Rigorous self honesty is our greatest expression of charitable behavior and the most powerful action for carrying the message to others.

Lovingly, Sally