Greetings,

I've been curious about blame this past week. Who we blame, why we blame, how we blame, when and where we blame. I've had thoughts that "if only" this person or that person would do "this thing" or "that thing," then my life would be better, less stressful and I would be more at peace and authentically joyful and happy.

There have been a couple of challenges in relationships with others that have brought this to the surface. Most especially because I am certain that they are at fault and if they had only behaved differently, I would not be feeling the discomfort I am feeling. It is ironic, really, because my chief complaint is that they blame me for something and I have the sense of being scapegoated. It is quite a paradox and clearly a reflection of this internal drive that we all experience from time to time to blame another for whatever difficulty or discomfort we experience inside.

The word "blame" has its origins in old Latin from the word blaspheme. When this is translated, its fundamental meaning is to attack that which is sacred. It refers to dealing in the realm of evil and irreverence.

I am so grateful for this understanding at the moment. Really. The original meaning of the word "blame" is to actually act irreverantly and to attack that which is sacred. In a real sense, any time that I blame or point the finger at someone else for my unhappiness or discomfort, I become unholy, for authentic intimacy and connection means seeing the sacredness and holiness in all. My desire today is to find the blessing in my blaming. I choose to see the other person as a mirror of myself, a mirror of my own grief not felt, or my love of self not fully embraced. When I have the urge to blame or harshly judge another, I choose instead to see their holiness and to open myself to what they are reflecting back to me about myself. When I do allow this transformation of blame to blessing, my connection to Self and to the Divine is realized. Authentic connection to others always begins with authentic connection to self.

Today, I turn the blame into a blessing and allow myself the gift of holiness in all things.

Lovingly,

Sally