"Pletcher and Bartolameolli are undisputed experts on the subject of co-sex addiction.  They know more about it than anyone I know and have presented  an expose that with great clarity supersedes anything I have read before."

– John Bradshaw

Monday, July 23, 2012

Authentic Relationships; abundance and there's enough for everyone...

     My husband, daughter and I were shopping not too long ago. She was home for a short time from college and wanted some of her favorite food in the house. As she pulled the crunchy, "all natural", peanut butter down from the grocery shelf and placed it in our cart, my husband said he like the smooth kind; Peter Pan to be exact. I told him we both like this brand and the crunchy version.

"Where does that leave me?" he asked. 

"With your own jar of peanut butter." I replied.

     Simple solution, I know, but still important to note. There is enough space, time, energy and even peanut butter in the world for us each to have what we want. Making sacrifices is a thing of the past. Sure, there are times when one or both partners might choose to give in or compromise on their priority simply due to conflicting events, circumstances or other constraints. But in general, an essential value to embrace when desiring authentic and fulfilling relationships is that of abundance and generosity. Both partners can have what they want as long as it honors the basic values each shares for the relationship.

     Sometimes the solution may seem unconventional but it's our relationship, our marriage, and we decide what it looks like and how we both live within it. As I write this, I am in Michigan in our summer home and my husband is down in Texas working. It's not ideal, but it is what we both want at this time. We find ways to connect and enjoy our time away from each other. 

     A sense of abundance, generosity and a stand for each to have our desires is a good foundation for living an authentic, joy-filled partnership. It's a great way to minimize resentments and keep our own passions, dreams and even simple wants for different peanut butter front and center. 

Blessings to all, 


Monday, July 16, 2012

What's next?

After twenty-five years in 12 step recovery, I've learned alot and my life is dramatically different. Not just in the passing of time but in the energetic vibration that I live. My addictive behaviors continue to be held in remission as I keep my spiritual life vibrantly nourished. My relationships with others, including my beloved husband, are mutually empowering and supportive. We stand for one another's dreams, deepest healthful desires and joyful living. Gratitude has become the norm in my life; not an illusive idea to strive for as was the case in early recovery. 

My experience has taught me that a regular prayer and meditation process and dynamic relationship with a Higher Power is the foundation of living an inspired life. Next, self care and self love come above all else. As I learn to care for myself spiritually, physically, emotionally, financially and relationally, I give abundantly from a place of fullness within to others. My addictive thinking and behaving no longer fill my day and "simply surviving" the drama; inside and outside, are a thing of the past. So, what's next?

Today I focus my energy, time, intentions and attention on honoring my deepest desires and living of life of service as I embody joy, inspiration and miraculous manifestations. My days include physical activities that keep me vibrantly alive and joyfully connected to nature, dance and a strong heart beat. At least five days a week I include prayer and meditation which may either be in the form of journaling, deep breathing or yogic asanas. In my business I have a coach who challenges me to grow and holds me accountability to sharing my gifts through my business to make a difference for others and receive the wealth and fulfillment that comes this authentic contribution. My relationships with family and friends continues to offer me opportunities for gratitude and a deep sense of connection replaces the just as deep sense of longing that I came into recovery with many years ago. 

This is the light at the end of the tunnel. As I continue to open myself to receive the gifts that come from consistent 12 step recovery work and family of origin grief transformation work, as well as keep my spiritual connection and 12 step tools well integrated into all areas of my life, I know Spiritual flow will continue. Joy, inspiration and miracles abound. 

Blessings to all, 


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