"Pletcher and Bartolameolli are undisputed experts on the subject of co-sex addiction.  They know more about it than anyone I know and have presented  an expose that with great clarity supersedes anything I have read before."

– John Bradshaw

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

From darkness to light...

Shadows reflect our light...

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light,” said Carl Jung, “but by making the darkness conscious.” As the originator of the concept of “shadow” Carl Jung first brought into our cultural consciousness the necessity of loving ourselves through bringing to consciousness what is in the unconscious. This applies especially to the most unlovable and dark parts that we have worked diligently to hide, repress and deny. As a certified Shadow Work® facilitator and author of a book on the Sacred Feminine, I work with these energies and create environments that allow individuals to explore their darker side. With Sacred Feminine principles, we surrender to it all and know that the connection between dark and light, pain and joy, sickness and health is symbiotic. We cannot experience one without the other. Stepping into my own darkness, looking at my cosex addiction and other addictive dynamics in my life inform me of my shadows and places for Divine light. Using the 12 steps to assist in looking within allows me to continue my own emotional and spiritual maturity and trust my darkness to the light and to my Higher Power.

In “Blessings From Mary” my most recent book, I explore 9 Sacred Feminine Principles and offer daily meditations that lead one to their Divine Purpose. Here I share some ideas inspired by Carl Jung which encourage us to embrace those “dark” emotions rather than avoid and run from them. In an age and culture that prescribes to a quick fix from discomfort: physical, emotional and spiritual, it’s not always an appealing invitation to explore and embrace our shadows. We think if we are feeling good then we are living well and if we are feeling grieve, despair, fear or shame there must be something wrong.

Using our recovery program to share with our sponsor or someone who understands addiction is a tool for bringing into the light that which shame and fear keep hidden. We grow every time we do a 5th step and share our character defects with someone else.

Sacred Feminine spirituality encourages us to meet all of ourselves with open heart and allow our wounds to inform us of all we have to offer. Our woundedness and shadows teach us about our giftedness. In our full embrace of the hurts, pain, “feel-bad” emotions we carry, we also embrace our compassion, joy and deepest sense of self. In the Sacred Feminine perspective, we hold our darkness with comfort, care and a willingness to surrender. In our darkness, we find brilliance, wisdom and authenticity.

From this fullness, we give to others. Our fully experienced grief, fear and pain open our hearts and bring us the unexpected gifts of gratitude, joy and a deepened capacity to love ourselves and others.

Labels: , , ,

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Yesterday I learned that someone I loved and who had been instrumental in my young adult years died. I have no information about the circumstances of his death. This summer while in my hometown, I thought of him often. There were several instances in which I thought of visiting, but then decided against it. I did not know that he was sick.

In my recovery, I can feel my sadness about losing this person on the physical plane and forgive myself for not visiting these last months. In doing so, I receive the gift of more fully trusting my intuitive nudgings and following those desires that whisper to me of action. The next time I think of someone and have the thought to contact them or reach out, I will do so.

Today, I can remember the influence of this man in my teen years and receive his love and acceptance as part of my journey of loving and accepting myself.

As we keep our hearts open, we feel the joys and the losses in life. This experience fills our spirits with hope, gratitude and the never-ending circles of birth, death and rebirth.

Blessings and love,


Labels: , , , ,