"Pletcher and Bartolameolli are undisputed experts on the subject of co-sex addiction.  They know more about it than anyone I know and have presented  an expose that with great clarity supersedes anything I have read before."

– John Bradshaw

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Women's Shadows and lifting the Veil.....

One of the things that I love so much about our book on Co-Sex addiction and our beliefs about this dis-ease is our outlook on women's relationships with one another. This dis-ease has robbed us, in many ways, of authentic connection with our sisters. Our preoccupation with the sex addict, obsessing over our own appearance, and the set-up to feel threatened by other women, has interfered with our freedom to love, appreciate and connect honestly with our sisters.

For many years, I've done teaching and experiential workshops on Women's Oppression and Women's Competition and have long been committed to raising women's awareness about these issues.

I remain committed to raising awareness and offering women opportunities for concrete actions which contradict old views that keep us from connecting authentically with other women. Here are a couple of actions and that we can all take in service of this worthy goal:

1) Appreciate another Woman. When another woman has contributed to you, tell her. When another woman has made a difference, big or seemingly small, let her know this and give her the appreciation she deserves. As we put energy into this generous acknowledgment of one another, we begin to contradict the shadows and beliefs around seeing one another as competition. As women, we invite community and connection rather than disdain or the threat of another. Feelings of lack and unworthiness give birth to a sense of abundance and appreciation. Take a step to tell another woman, who has influenced you that you appreciate her. Notice what that is like for you and consider making it a regular practice in life.

2) Stop participating in GOSSIP. When we listen to someone talking about another, we are participating in Gossip. There is speaking and listening and to really take a stand of love for our sisters, we must take a stand of not participating in speaking and listening to gossip and triangulated communication. While this boundary may not be welcomed by some in our lives that have gotten used to our participation in gossip, it is a stand and cause worthy of our strength and commitment. Take a stand to speak directly to others who have hurt you or where there may be misunderstanding or miscommunication. Let others in your life know that you hold this boundary with love and care of all women, all persons. Enjoy the freed up energy and sense of integrity that follows. We must stand for ourselves and one another in kindness, courage and care and removing our participation in gossip is a powerful way to do this.

Breathe deeply. Appreciate yourself, appreciate another and take a stand with love for all.