"Pletcher and Bartolameolli are undisputed experts on the subject of co-sex addiction.  They know more about it than anyone I know and have presented  an expose that with great clarity supersedes anything I have read before."

– John Bradshaw

Friday, July 16, 2010

Humbly Asked...

I am so grateful for the 12 steps of recovery. I use them in my daily life as well as reflect each month on the corresponding step of that month.

The seventh step is "Humbly asked our Higher Power to remove these defects of character." To humbly ask for anything requires that we are "grounded" so to speak as the word has its origins in the Latin "humus" meaning lowly or ground. To be "grounded" or have myself on the ground or earth requires that I see things honestly, in reality with clear perception. As in all of my earthly and spiritual pursuits, this requires that I do my own foundational work. There is a personal prerequisite that I know what my defects of character are. I must honestly embrace these behaviors that do not serve my highest good or align with my values. As I embrace and take responsibility for myself in this way, I am also able to choose and release these character defects or at least "humbly ask for assistance" with them.

I also choose to honor with compassion my defects of character. There is certainty that these behaviors were chosen for a purpose and while they may no longer be in my highest good or serving my current purpose, I can appreciate their origin. It is perhaps, the greatest gift of working the 12 step program for me. Each step allows me to look honestly at who I am and how I became the person that I have become. I learn self honesty and humility as well as forgiveness and self love. In time, through this experience of self-love, self-forgiveness and honesty, I am able to CHOOSE my behaviors and how I wish to interact with myself and others in the world. I can pray for the ability to surrender behaviors that no longer serve myself or others and I can receive the gifts of healing and transformation.

Blessings on your journey of humility and honesty,